Hello Beeple people,
Last week, as I was going about my morning commute, I bumped into many little things that reminded me of a friend of mine I had been meaning to call. What things reminded me of him? I ran into a new friend he introduced me to who now lives in my building, I heard a song we always joke about, I walked passed a corner we used to meet at and more little things of the sort. I felt like all those things were telling me to get in touch with my friend and, if I learned anything in this life so far, it's definitely to follow my instinct and do what it says. Every time I don't do it, I end up regretting it and one of those was over ten years go when I didn't go talk to my friend Wesley at the grocery store, not knowing then it was the last time I would ever see him. I was a young 19 year old and I didn't want to bother him at work. Too bad for me. Now, I always think of him when I feel I have to get in touch with someone I haven't seen in a while.
So, I got home Friday evening and finally took the moment to call him and say hi. Well, it turns out that he had been going through and a very emotionally charged week himself. He learnt that sadly, one of his high school friends had passed away. She had lost her battle with cancer (god damn cancer). I was glad I had called...
Before it's too late
As we were discussing life and how very short it can be, my friend shared that he had walked passed his late friend's home, knowing of her illness, and wondered if he should knock on her door or not to say hello. Would he be bothering her? Would it only make her feel uncomfortable because he knows about her cancer? Fortunately, he decided to go ahead and call her and to his pleasant surprise, she invited him in warmly and was happy to hang out. This was five weeks ago only. My friend was aware of her fragile state but didn't know it would be the last time he would be spending time with her. He kindly sent her texts to say hello and that he was thinking of her until she no longer responded and he eventually got the unfortunate news of her passing.
In this pool of sorrow, what comfort it is to know that he was able to see her, hug her and communicate his affection and empathy to her before she left. What relief to feel that he acted upon his desire to knock on her door and there she was, all smiles. There are simply no regrets in any action when they truly are based on love for the other person. Be it love-love or friendship love, whatever the kind, if the actions are well intended, I believe you should act on them and run the risk of getting hurt or get shut down.
Obviously, we can't keep in touch with everyone all at once and there will always be some turn of events that will inevitably demand for us to prioritize other activities in our life. But if you get that desire to see or talk to your friend, colleague or family member and start thinking: maybe I should call my friend....Maybe I should explain to her how I felt that time when I was angry...Maybe I should get him flowers just because...Maybe I should go say hi...Maybe I should just state the obvious and say I love you. Whatever it is, don't let the moment pass you by and just do it. Next think you know, you missed your chance and you can never get it back. There is nothing worse than missing your chance and getting that feeling in the pit of your stomach afterwards and those "If only I would have done it" thought that keep you awake at night. But we all know what that is right? Regret. Deep-cutting-slap-in-your-face regret.
So do I do it or not?
My advice? Absolutely! Act on it. You want to say hi? Say hi. You want to surprise your buddy with a present to show you care? Go for it. You want to get your coworker a coffee just because? Please, do it. You saw something funny that reminded you of your friend, took a picture of it and want to send it to him or her? Do it. Unless you both promised each other never to speak again for good reasons, fine. Otherwise, do not hesitate to show love. We can simply never get enough of tender love and care. At worst, one of the two following scenarios may occur:
A) He or she will be pleasantly surprised and/or
B) He or she rejects your gesture
Let me tell you right now. If B) happens in any shape or form, remember, it is THEIR take on it, not yours. You can insist and try and explain yourself to clear things up if need be but ultimately after you decided to act, it's their decision to accept it or not to. They may come around, or they may not. And if they don't, remember that they may not be ready and may be facing greater battles than the ones you can see on the surface. One thing is for sure though... you my friends will sleep well at night satisfied knowing that you acted upon love and from that, there can be no regrets.
My name is Ivana. I love photography and meeting people. I hold a Master's in counselling psychology and work as a career consultant. Music is my fuel and an important source of energy in my life. I drive my vespa around the city and I love what I do! :) About this blog: me on my artistic soap box!
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