Hello bee readers,
I have been meaning to write for quite some time but for some reason, every time I picked up my virtual pen to begin, the subject I had in mind didn't seem quite right or deep enough. In those cases I rather hold back than write only for the sake of adding content (like some blogs we know all too well...ahem!).
As the end of 2017 approaches, the need to stop and look back on the past year always arises. As intellectual and emotional beings, it is only human to want to process and define all that we have gone through and make something of it. This gives us the perception of control that we need to function better with. That is, if we can properly describe where we stand now, we have a clearer vision for what we are aiming for next. True, this is something we should do on a regular basis not simply at the year's end, but we are also social creatures and perhaps feel more accountable doing this analysis along with the rest of the world.
For my part, here are some take away messages I have understood from 2017...
2017 reminded me of how quickly life can turn around, in an instant. As well as I know this and I am the first to always say how life is now (and let's not confuse that with YOLO) my inner circle was shook with the threat of illness. The universe launched thunder bolts of life and death related events, taking us all by surprise, we plunged head first in an overwhelming reality. Thankfully everyone is well now. 2017 reminded us all not to take health and longevity for granted and further reinforced that life is now. Feel it now, say it now and no regrets. The dust has been shaken off and we are turning a page to something new, something very good. Gratefully also, quite a few rainbows appeared after the storm and my family grew, in all senses of the term.
2017 has badgered me with situations that have taught me to let go. That is something that is VERY difficult for me to do. Especially when it comes to matters of justice. If I feel a situation is unfair, I tend to get involved even if it's not my problem but for someone important to me. Something snaps inside and I need to fight for that cause. To argue and push until fairness is reached. Unfortunately, as you already know, not all situations can be won and some will take more time to come around. Some may never come at all! 2017 pushed me to yes, be the change I want to see. I learned to stop myself in my tracks before stepping into my armour and grabbing my sword. I had talks with myself, out loud to weigh the battles I was considering. While looking at the big picture I asked myself: "Is the cause truly worth it? Will the audience ever truly recognize what I am trying to say here?" and if the answer was no, I discarded all thoughts of engaging my energy any further and spared it for other more important matters. It was no easy task since by nature, I am one to persist. I was surprised at how well I let my temper cool off once I realized the situation in question just was not worth any shred of my efforts. How empowering it is to rise above and let go of the insignificant. I was pleasantly surprised by the universe's way of smiling and nodding at me for those glorious moments. I got a few pearls of wisdom this year.
2017 made me see how high I place the bar for myself. In terms of accomplishments and as a family member even. I work hard to be all that I can be as a daughter, as a sister, as a wife, as a career counsellor, as an "artist", as a Montrealer and while I am very content with all that I do and who I am as a person, I never quite seem to do enough. I am easily impressed by others' talents. This admiration of others while harmless does come with the price of blinding me to my own achievements and talents a short time after I reached them. While I am proud of myself to a certain level, I will never cease to be inspired by other individuals' abilities. That being said, I have to stop diminishing or underestimating my own. A dear colleague of mine described it as self-advocacy and I am in love with the concept. Doing it however will be a challenge. I will make this a resolution. Even though we should not keep those for the beginning of a new year, the timing seems perfect. It doesn't matter if others can recognize my potential or not. What matters is if Ivana does. For the sake of owning this resolution and to end this post strong...
2017 reminded me that I am a force of good and of stability. That while organized chaos reigns around me and I witness friends and family deal with cards of moving to a new home, welcoming a baby, handling a divorce, transitioning through career changes, battling illness, celebrating marriage, anything! ...I remain the same through it all. Though it doesn't mean change will not occur or that I don't actively seek it, I seem to always go through very long slices of life with grand discipline. While for some it is to pick up and reroot easily, always starting fresh somewhere new and seeking adventures, my legendary and unsurpassed talent is to grow strong below the surface and stride along unwavering. It seems that my purpose is to be a source of stable energy and strength in the good and in the bad for all who cross my path (well would ya look at that...I complimented myself!). Even my leo zodiac quality is "fixed" ;) Let's take a few examples:
University studies: 8 years
First job after that: 8 years and counting...
Living downtown: 9 years and counting...
Clearly I value experience and investing in long term relationships be them professional or friendly. Sure, my perseverance makes me stubborn: you'll have to convince me to change my mind. But if there's something you can count on is that, as previously mentioned, I won't let go easily and I will keep rediscovering what it is I believe in most and you, reader, are part of that! :)
I thank you bee readers for having read me, a little, a lot, throughout this year. May 2018 grant your heart's desires. If you could wrap up 2017 in one word, what would it be? Mine would be: growth!
Bee in health and happiness, always...
My name is Ivana. I love photography and meeting people. I hold a Master's in counselling psychology and work as a career consultant. Music is my fuel and an important source of energy in my life. I drive my vespa around the city and I love what I do! :) About this blog: me on my artistic soap box!
My first novel!
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