Pandemic Thoughts & Poetry

Hello beeple people,

As I humbly step back up on my little soap box after many months of silence, I want to ask

how are you...? 

What a journey this pandemic situation has been. I am 100% certain that many of you have also been through the ups and downs of these circumstances, and knowing that, I do truly hope you are all OK.

My brain has been swirling with what seems like millions of thoughts and ideas ranging from  small to grand themes to write about and share with you.

To share a few "slices of life" (tranche de vie as we say en français!) of this past summer, I can definitely say I have had a few hurdles. Situations that have challenged the trust and energy I so generously invested in them to say the least, much of which I am now grateful for, as they have been great learning opportunities.

...it's not to say that the student here (me!) didn't pay. It did come with significant cost: deceit, shock, betrayal, anger (fur real), and sadness.

In exchange however, I got transformation. 

One of the recurrent themes of psychology 101 I can't help but circle back to these days is: adaptive coping mechanisms.

Darwin did have a point...

In the face of change though, my first reflex is to resist. Like I want to hang on to what's there and keep course. Intuitively and theoretically though, I know better. I know I need to take a step back and assess before latching on to resistance. For example, I know that in some situations, my determination, optimism and discipline do not serve me well. To the contrary, they are exhausting my resources. Sometimes, I need to realize that not all situations benefit from my grit and that I must do what feels like *DRAMATIC GASP* quitting and let go.

...crickets...

Determination, Optimism and Discipline: "Wait, what?! Really?! Well this is weird...we are NOT used to this. Where the HELL do we all go now?"

Reason and efficiency: "Why! towards OTHER rewarding goals, of course!"

Seriously though, this was a revelation! 

I am learning to let go of and sometimes legit quit on some situations that did not merit my time anymore. Emphasis on the word merit here. 

---

A little like George Costanza in Seinfeld, I had to unlearn some of my reflexes which are to persevere, look up and try and try again. So, if my first reflex to persevere is wrong, then the opposite, in this case letting go or quitting, should be right! 

And so, when facing these unfortunate events, I did allow myself to wallow in pain, but I had also reached a point of no return. I reoriented my determination and discipline towards another vision. A more adaptive one and one that was sure to have a return on my investment instead of a huge withdrawal leading to foreclosure, or so to speak. 

This enabled me to save time, energy and good vibrations for myself first. 

Consequently for this, yes, I am grateful. It was tough, I will not say that it wasn't, but I have grown out of yet another shell that was restricting the evolution of me. Blocking me, even, from moving forward. Want to know the most absurd part of it all? For one of these events, my intuition had warned me all along, but I decided to go against it and try harder. Always listen to that inner judgement, it never fails. 

How about you, reader ? what kind of learning or growing have you experienced lately? Any thoughts are welcome here, I would love to read your comments and feedback. 

On that note, I share a bit of pandemic poetry, a few words that have been simmering in my mind for a while. I have named it "remnants", inspired by the clash between the pre and post Covid worlds. I hope it speaks to you! 

Special thanks for my mother for the title inspiration
​

Remnants

​Standing in a deserted office space
With a pen in my hand and a mask on my face
6 months in and on a totally different pace
A new reality is shifting and taking place
 
Time has stopped for a moment or so it seems
As I look at a world that used to be
Our back-burning selves, we gently redeem
Seeking the purity of nature and its authentic beauty
 
Empty stations and parking lots, I wonder
We have stopped running from one thing to another
Reclaiming time spent traveling to a tower
Is a four-fold source of individual power
 
Confinement reveals the deeper truths
Strange how we needed it to see
No longer sitting in our favorite bar booth
Grateful we are for homemade tea
 
Cleaning out drawers of the past and of darkness
Ridding our souls from the dust
Breaking free from a tight and rusty harness
Stepping into a renewed self-trust
 
Alone, we face ourselves and our demon pet
Who first was kept at bay, now surfaces, you bet
Whip thy demon hard into good use
Halt the domination and ban the abuse
And you may at first fear the inevitable battle
Yet you are the owner and shall not need to rattle
At the tenant’s temporary stay, tis over I say
 
Touching more keyboards and screens than human beings
We came close to forgetting what human means
Racing through life as though we are eternal
Perhaps it is best to remember that we are mortal
 
The yellow rose that blooms on the front lawn
I savour the sweet scent of my silent friend
Let us enjoy our stay from dusk until dawn
These petals of wisdom to you I send
 
                                                                                                         Ivana M.A. Lemme, 2020