Beemotional Intelligence of 2024

​The ebbs and flow of life always have something to teach us about ourselves, especially during the Holiday season. The end of the year calls for a review and a spiritual closet cleanse. Today, I made a point of sorting my inventory of lessons, wins, and a few goals for the year to come.
 
Without further ado, here are some of the uncomfortable situations I have learnt from in 2024 and also, the sunsets that surged through for each.
 
I’ll start by saying this: Emotional intelligence should be the first thing we learn in school to foster better human interactions, especially now with screen time robbing us of human touch... but no, mathematics keeps the throne. 
 
Why do I say this? Because many of the challenges I face require emotional intelligence, not mathematics. Emotional intelligence is essentially four components: 1) Emotion self-awareness 2) Emotion self-management 3) Emotion awareness/understanding of others 4) Social skills to interact with others – meanwhile, empathy is at the center of it all.

Lesson #1: Your intuition knows, listen

Intuitively, I always know when something is not right in a situation. I am one of those who "reads the room"a little too well.  I detect  a shift in a person's behaviour. I can hear it in the  the tone of voice as the person interacts with myself versus another. I can see the same person's usual cold approach being quite affectionate towards another. It is nearly palpable, I feel the energy is off its normal axis even if, to my knowledge, I have done nothing wrong. All of my senses detect this and report the data to my brain like soldier messengers.

Before I know it, arrows are fired at my heart and I am under attack. My body is responding to a threat I have not even had time to process yet. Internally, my logic is desperately trying to reason with my intuition, and this is how the dialogue goes:
 
Logic: “Calm down. You have no proof any of this is real.”
Intuition: “I see, and what about the tone of voice change? The physical touch? That’s all fluff to you I presume?”
Logic: “...I am not sure what to do with that...”
Intuition: “How about you consider my intake as fact for a change. We don’t have time for your analysis paralysis.”
Enters The Heart: “K, can you two make up your minds because I’m accelerating in fight or flight mode here. Isn’t this supposed to be a festive evening??!!”
Enters the Ego: “Who the HELL do they think they are?! I have TONS of snide remarks I can launch at them right now, locked and loaded, that will show them. Shall I ask the vocal cords to start?”
Intuition: “NO. Ego, hold your horses. I hear you are upset but that will do more long-term damage.
Ego: “Exactly, let them have it, those judases!”
Intuition: “I am trying to carve a new path to outgrow this. Ego, here have this cup of silence please before you ruin us all. Heart, you can decelerate. Let me talk with memory, I need to consult our past experience and track records not to make the same mistakes again.”
Ego: *muted*
Memory: “I’m here. What files do you need from the archives?”
Intuition: “The latest on this individual and history of our relationship. I need to decide the course of action based on the new protocol too.”
Memory: “And what protocol is that? Ah yes. I remember!”
Intuition: “...I’m sure you do....”
Memory and Intuition: “The growth mindset!”
 
Instead of staying in my optimistic pattern and hoping the situation will improve, I acknowledge and manage my emotions. I approve the data my intuition keeps alarming my nervous system to and for every future situation, I remind myself that individuals who appear on my radar are present to test my desire to grow. Does it mean that I will now be immune? Of course not. I still feel the sting, but not the urge to defend myself. Silence with eye contact is quite an incredible weapon in many situations. It says: “I saw that, and I’m not playing. I am dissociating with whatever this is.”  Situations like these require tremendous amounts of self-awareness, i.e. emotional intelligence. The sunset in this situation? Not everything is about me and that’s a blessing! I am learning to manoeuver differently. 

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Lesson #2: I choose my wisdom face

​Another situation that is a current threat to my ego: aging. A trend many, especially women, have embraced is the use of Botox. Whether it’s micro-Botox injections, etc. I applaud them for trying something that increases their wellbeing. Even if I feel like an old handbag next to these fresh-faced beauties, Botox injections are not exactly like getting a manicure or a haircut. Botox has a Black Box warning, which is the most serious warning that the FDA can issue for drugs/medications that “have potentially dangerous side effects”. On social media, I have seen what frightening neurological and psychological effects this procedure can have on the nervous system as well as other physical risks of having a droopy eye or uneven brows.
 
​Non merci.

I just don’t feel it is worth the risk. It is a door that is remaining closed at the moment. I will stick to my collagen smoothies, hydrating masks, and eye patches. The sunset here is that my ego is stretching its boundaries again and while being 25 was incredible, there is also something quite glorious about the 40s. My choice is both economical and empowering, I have not failed anything, I look like me: alive and well.

Lesson#3: My novel is not everyone’s cup of tea

Purchasing my book is encouraging me (thank you!), reading my book is a pursued interest. Just because I like writing, reading, and would jump at the idea of reading a friend’s novel, the reverse is not necessarily true. I had imagined discussing the book with some, having deep conversations with others I thought would enjoy discovering me as an author. That’s the thing when you have expectations, some of those can be left unfulfilled. I have learnt that it is not necessarily those who are in my circle who will be curious enough to read me or take interest in my art, and that’s ok.
 
The sunset is that I have had perfect strangers reach out to me directly to tell me how they were charmed by the story and grew fond of the characters. Not only does that profoundly touch me, but it reminds me that I have created something that is bigger than me and that will outlast my days on this planet. A legacy that is mine. Those who know, know.

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Some of my 2024 wins

• Visiting my friend in London and going to LIVERPOOL!
• Planning a summer feast with my sister to celebrate my parents’ birthdays
• Doing a long weekend in Rome just because I could (Thanks Steph!)
• Driving my vespa in the city again
• Purchasing a new PEARL drum kit! That was a big one for me

Goals for 2025

Research says you have significantly higher chance of achieving a goal if you write it down and launch it with a significant date in a calendar...so there’s a whole science behind the New Year’s resolutions after all.
 
Writing will always be on the list. Those who wonder if I will write another novel, my answer is yes, but that means I will have to slow down and isolate to write. That means saying no to other activities. When I wrote my first book, the conditions were ideal: the pandemic forced everyone to stay home at the same time, so I did not feel the pressure to upkeep my social calendar. Not only that, but I also had simmered the plot of the story in my mind for years. The writing almost came automatically. The second book is another story (see what I did there?) My social calendar is back in full swing, and I haven’t had time to let the plot sit in my head, in my body long enough. My goal in 2025 is to progress and honor a slower unfolding of that.
 
Giving back, in one way or another. I would like to see where and how my time and skills could be valuable.
 
Uniting suburbs and city: I want to be one of the first to take the REM at the Kirkland station when it opens. This should be a game changer for me. Connecting me to my lovely city in just 10 stations.
 
Taking a risk. A purchase? A change? I am not sure yet of the form this will take, but I intend on pushing it to the max to make it happen.
 
Continue cultivating the art of emotional maturity, which is knowing when I can contribute meaningfully from when I can’t. I am not a primary character in every person’s life. I am sometimes the secondary or even a an obligatory extra and that’s ok. Secondary characters are there to propel the protagonist and primary characters. Extras are there to fill the background and add ambiance. Nothing more, nothing less. The rest of the time, I continue being the main character in my own story and having fun with my army of leading sidekicks.
 
What is one of your 2024 wins, dear reader? I would be curious to know.
 
May 2025 be filled with beauty ;), health, prosperity, and not too many lessons! Keep that intuition sharp and your Beemotional intelligence in check!
 
Cheers!
Bee x