Snakes and Ladders: When Integrity Meets Manipulation, Truth Stays Unbent and Lit From Within.

AI generated. If I could be a hero, this would be me ;)

Hello Bee readers,
Have you missed me? I'd like to think so ;)  It's been quite some time and I have had a few of you ask if this thing was still on. The answer: hell yeah. It's been a minute and welcome back to the hive bee readers, it's time for a new slice of life! One I hope you'll appreciate. 

---

Prologue

---

As the month of December unfolds, I am seeing just how challenging this year has been for many, including myself. Through it, I chose to keep an elastic mindset as much as possible, longing for growth and transformation. According to the Chinese Zodiac, we are in the year of the snake, which is one that asks us to shed, and let go of old skin. Or, in the words of Google AI: 

Shedding: the snake sheds its old skin to grow, the year encourages individuals to let for of old habits, perspectives, emotional baggage, or relationships that no longer serve them. 
Covert: snakes are quiet and mysterious, the covert aspect ties into the idea of quiet self-reflection and inner work, trusting one's own intuition before striking with purpose when the time is right. 

I feel like I encountered quite a few snake moments on my path this year. Some that took me down some levels; and then it was up to me to choose a ladder to climb and grow or keep repeating the same patterns. I is in this spirit that I wish to share my experience in this next blog piece. 

Source: Pintrest

---

​Have you ever met someone and intuitively knew they were going to be trouble? 
I have. 

A few years ago I shook hands with someone, let’s call this person Zoey, who took one look at me and decided I was an opponent. Instead of responding to my kindness, I found myself stuck in cycles of ambivalence. Some moments were awkward and disappointing; others were a little sweeter, just enough to keep the optimist in me hoping that one day genuine respect would grow between us.

It never did.
​
The more I gave, the more she took without a hint of concern for my wellbeing. After years of me going back and forth, trying to build something, Zoey seized the first opportunity she had to swing at me with lies and confabulations. Worst of all, instead of focusing on a solution, she pinned the situation she was upset about entirely on me, even after trying to discuss it. There was no room for negotiation or neuroplasticity in her mind. She was actively seeking to misunderstand me and did so underhandedly. 

I always knew Zoey was a chronically dissatisfied soul, but she went out of her way to try and bend the truth. She ignited chaos with such ease and without a shred of hesitation. It made me question the connection she had with reality and if she was even capable of true empathy. I realized that all the efforts I had happily poured into our “friendship account” only ever served her needs. In the end, she blatantly proceeded to withdraw everything and closed the account.

Fortunately, Zoey underestimated two things: how unwavering truth is, and how strong my alliances are. I knew the truth would eventually catch up with her and my family and friends stood with me. That phase stirred something in me, something I was determined to learn from. Though I was not in a snake year back then, these two elements became crystal clear and were my first learning ladders: 

1.  She needed me cast as the villain so her victim narrative could shine.
2. Over time, I saw how she weaponized her own incompetence, profiting from problems rather than solving them, another form of control.

Brutal moments and in hindsight, it was a rehearsal of what would come a few years later.

Those who avoid accountability often hide behind moral-sounding claims

Zoey's behaviour reminded me of covert narcissists tendencies. Such individuals recruit what are known as “flying monkeys” to help spread false scenarios. I’ve learned that people often shield themselves from responsibility by cloaking their actions in moral language. They insist they’re “protecting someone” or “doing what’s right,” even when their actions serve themselves first. These claims are persuasive because they appeal to values we all respect—but they are selective, convenient, and ultimately self-serving.

Once again, they care more about how they are perceived by their audience than they do about the truth. Being seen as pure and innocent is of utmost importance. It is impossible for them to admit accountability for their actions because that would mean they have control and that they actually do have power to act and...*gasp* fix the problem on their own.

A learning ladder I am never coming own from is the one that enabled me to see through this tactic. Morality can be used as armor, and it’s up to me to notice when it’s being weaponized to avoid honesty. People who genuinely care about others—and who truly want to get to the bottom of a situation—care about truth. They have a code of ethics that won’t bend just because someone cries wolf. Well, Zoey cried wolf, and while some bought the story, it would not last for long.

I recently came across this quote:

“Betrayal is the ultimate act of cowardice. It takes courage to be honest, but it takes no courage to deceive. It is a choice, not a mistake. It’s a conscious decision to put self‑interest above loyalty and truth.”
—Daniel Chidiac, Don’t Let Every Little Thing Affect You

It takes courage, strength, and mental grit to choose truth and stand by it come what may. Trust me, it is a practice I honor and chose everyday.  Comfort is easy and so is blind loyalty—or a loyalty of convenience. In my story, the shock of the betrayal hurt and yet I cannot say I was completely surprised given my previous experience with Zoey.

Fundamentally I knew from the start I was different from Zoey and ultimately she recruited the few who shared her “values” or those who wanted to "rescue" her (see Dramatic Triangle by Karpman). Together, they serve each other and blanket this dynamic with the word friendship. Through the years, here’s what I’ve observed from individuals like them, they:

1. only call/text when they need something from you, not because they are genuinely curious about you or your life
2. don't apologize or take accountability
3. conceal their true nature
4. have best friends that live far or "out of town"
5. have strained siblings relationships
6. live in contradiction with the advice they recite like sonnets
7. dodge the truth like a bullet
8. speak in absolutes "always" / "never"
9. lack curiosity and therefore never grow beyond their own fixed narratives
10. believe they are the eternal victim in the life they created (Karpman’s drama triangle is almost always present: persecutor–rescuer–victim)

​
Once I saw how deep Zoey's betrayal went, how careless she was with the ramifications of her actions, I shut the watertight doors immediately. Just like the Titanic did after hitting the iceberg. Unlike the ship however, I did not let any water seep through. I was finished with Zoey, and I ended the spread of the lies and her need for control right then and there. 

Facing the fire, defending truth

When you realize someone cares more about control or image than truth

At first, you might try to reason, explain, or appeal to fairness. But eventually, you notice a pattern: it’s not about what’s right, it’s about how the story looks, who has the upper hand, or who appears virtuous. Understanding this changes everything, it reframes your expectations and frees you from trying to convince them. The truth becomes your anchor, and their need for control becomes their problem, not yours.
Covert narcissists focus on the narrative and nothing else. They can brutally attack and then act as though nothing of the sort happened. As though ignoring it erases the everlasting scars. It is quite shocking how quickly manipulation changes clans depending on what the current needs are. They turn their backs on their so-called allies if they no longer serve them. Needless to say, the complete opposite to my personal code of conduct. 

Speaking with them sounds like a competition of who is the most tired or the best victim. Additionally, the people who constantly rescue these victims, ultimately prevent them from learning and reward the manipulators while ignoring the hard working and authentic ones (back to Karpman’s dramatic triangle). I am shedding individuals who find glory in their own laments yet do nothing to solve them. I am shedding those who seek problems to be in the center of attention, like a solar system. 

Best case scenario is to recognize the game and not play. Block these energy vampires completely if possible. I have learned not to explain my side of the story and stand alone. Those who care for me have come forth on their own. Long standing friends, without hesitation, stepped in. Loyalty is not blind, it is earned through time and repeated acts of integrity. 

After attempting to destroy someone close to me without remorse, truth fired back and Zoey got served. As things continue to unfold, I am confident that time will continue to shine and expose what she has done. Life always returns what you pour into it. 

On a more positive note: I have been overwhelmed lately to realize how many people care deeply for me. People who want to be in my life and actively invest efforts to be there. These precious allies helped me and my surroundings. Those who, without hesitation, knew that just because I am strong, determined, and positive, it does not mean I don’t need support. It does not mean I do not feel pain and hurt just as much as the next person. They stepped forward not just with healing words but with touching gestures and action. They called, listened, and showed up, and I have infinite gratitude for you: my battalion of soldiers who jumped into the trenches with me and helped carry the flag of truth.

Cant wait for 2026, the year of the horse! I think my path is quite cleared for it! May you enjoy your Holiday season, in peace and in justice. 

Bee x 

N.B. I have shared my experience uncensored because it is the truth. So many of us know predators who count on our silence to move in the shadows and repeat their patterns. These individuals sleep at night knowing they have lied and potentially thrown chaos in another person's life.

Not on my watch.

I will do everything within my power to shine light upon truth, until justice finds its way. As for the manipulators and their flying monkeys, though I doubt they’d care enough to read this, consider this your reminder: truth does not bend.  

Cheers to the year of the horse, carrying me forward in alignment and joy!